i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
