I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
