You're my little dorito
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
