Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
