you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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