u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
