Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
