She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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