It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
