She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
