Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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