we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
