): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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