i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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