Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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