you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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