put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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