I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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