Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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