So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
