Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
