He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize