you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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