Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
