I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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