I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
