It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
