I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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