Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
