508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
