That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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