Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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