I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
