i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
