you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
