i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
