When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
