We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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