i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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