If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
