You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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