2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
