I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
