He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize