remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
