I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
