so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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