it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We smell like vodka and hangover
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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