guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
