When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
