she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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