discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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