why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I will be naked everywhere
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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