clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
