Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
a search helicopter?!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize