He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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