I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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