New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
