The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
