Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
