i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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