I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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