she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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