he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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