Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
