So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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