don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
