I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize