1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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