I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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