i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize