God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
