Im at strip club and am horny
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
