Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
