so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize