i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize