Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
